Ronaldo Shatters YouTube, Sonic 3 Hype, and Surviving Your YouTube Journey

How to Not Suck at YouTube (In Just 6 Painful Months)

Why creators fail at YouTube in their first month, and how you can prevent becoming irrelevant in a world full of other irrelevant people.

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What’s Poppin’: News You Missed (Because You Were Too Busy Scrolling Through Tinder)

• Christiano Ronaldo Hits 1 Million Subs in 1.5 Hours: Remember when Mr.Beast was the fastest growing YouTuber? Last week his much sexier competitor took over YouTube and hit 1 MILLION subscribers in less than 2 hours. That’s really fast… when you’re talking about social growth.

• Jim Carrey X Keanu Reeves The duo you never knew you needed teams up in the newest trailer for Sonic The Hedgehog 3. Everyone’s beloved hero faces off against Shadow (Reeves) and TWO Robotniks (Carrey). This one should be good!

Core Concepts: So You Want to Be a YouTuber? Welcome to the Cringe-Worthy Office Party.

Congratulations, you’ve just RSVP’d to the world’s most awkward work event—YouTube. The first six months are like that office party you didn’t want to go to but couldn’t avoid, filled with uncomfortable small talk, questionable decisions, and one too many drinks. Buckle up, because it’s about to get weird.

Month 1: Meet the Team—aka, Get Your Sh*t Together

• Find Your Niche, Like the Weird Guy in Accounting: First things first, you need to figure out what the hell you’re doing here. Just like you’d avoid the guy who keeps talking about his coin collection, you need to pick a niche and stick to it. No one wants a channel that’s all over the place, so settle down and commit, like you're pretending to care about Bob's weekend at his cabin.

• Gear Up Before You Show Up: If you walk into this party with a shaky webcam and a mic that sounds like you’re dialing in from 1995, expect some serious side-eye. Invest in decent equipment or be ready to get laughed out of the break room. You’re not going to win anyone over with tech that sounds like you're hosting a conference call from a cave.

Month 2: The Awkward Small Talk—Content Overload

• Overshare Like There’s No Tomorrow: This is where you start cranking out content faster than that one coworker who won’t shut up about their new keto diet. Aim for at least two videos a week. Your first few might be about as graceful as drunk karaoke, but that’s part of the charm. Just get it out there—content is king, and right now, you’re just trying to get through the night without embarrassing yourself.

• Editing: Like Cleaning Up After the Office Party: Editing is where you try to make your content look less like a hot mess. You know, like how you clean up spilled beer and pizza boxes before the boss sees. Learn the basics—cut out the awkward pauses, add some flair, but don’t go overboard. You want polished, not pretentious. Remember, nobody likes the guy who brings a PowerPoint presentation to the party.

Month 3: Checking the Metrics—aka, Gossip Time

• Stalk Your Analytics Like Office Drama: You know that feeling when you overhear juicy gossip by the water cooler? That’s how you should feel about YouTube analytics. Dive into your stats and obsess over every detail—watch time, click-through rates, audience retention. If something’s off, you’re gonna want to fix it before HR gets involved (or, you know, before your channel tanks).

• Tweak Like You're Spinning the Office Rumor Mill: If a video flops harder than your boss’s joke at the holiday party, it’s time to figure out why. Maybe your thumbnail looked like a stock photo from hell, or your intro was longer than an awkward handshake. Adjust, refine, and move on. This is your chance to fine-tune and start spreading content people actually want to watch.

Month 4: Network Like Your Job Depends on It

• Engage with Fans Like Schmoozing at Happy Hour: Start mingling. Respond to comments—even the weird ones. Ask your viewers questions, engage them in polls, and make them feel like they’re part of something more than just your awkward online diary. Treat them like your work buddies who might cover for you when you sneak out early.

• Collab Like You’re Sucking Up to the Boss: Time to start collaborating. It’s like cozying up to the boss or that one coworker who’s clearly going places. Find someone with a bigger audience, latch on, and pretend it’s all about teamwork and not just you using them to climb the ladder.

Month 5: Cash In—Time to Make That Awkward Bonus Request

• Sell Out (But Do It with Style): You’ve survived this long, now it’s time to make some money. Start hunting for brand deals, but don’t just grab the first thing thrown at you like a desperate intern. Find deals that fit your brand—no one’s buying that you use whatever sketchy product is sponsoring you unless it actually makes sense.

• Activate AdSense, Like Finally Asking for That Raise: If you’ve hit YouTube’s requirements, flip the switch on monetization. It won’t pay for your Netflix addiction just yet, but it’s a start. Get to know how ads work—because just like with your paycheck, you’ll want to know where every penny is coming from.

Month 6: Reflect, Refine, and Get Ready to Do It All Over Again

• Consistency Is Like Actually Showing Up to Work: By month six, you should have a routine that doesn’t make you want to fake your own death to get out of it. Stick to your upload schedule like you stick to your coffee breaks. Consistency isn’t sexy, but it’s how you keep from getting fired—or in this case, losing your audience.

• Look Back and Laugh, Like Watching the Party Video: Take a moment to review the last six months. What worked? What tanked? Where did you make a complete fool of yourself? Double down on the good stuff and leave the disasters in the past, like that one time you thought shots at the office party were a good idea.

• The Hustle Never Ends—So Pace Yourself: You’ve made it this far, but the grind is just beginning. Keep improving, keep hustling, and don’t let the inevitable burnout turn you into the office ghost no one remembers. This is your new normal—awkward, uncomfortable, and full of potential. Now get back out there and make some f*cking magic happen.

  Trend Unpacked: Nobody Will Remember… This Trend

That’s the cold hard truth if you use this meme, nobody will remember you, or your social posts, or your hopes/dreams/aspirations…. Unless you absolutely pop off on your social media of course.

Trend Report Card:

1. Adoption Ease: A+

• Comment: If you’re feeling lazy, this trend is super easy to adapt. You could be a mortician, a tax accountant, or Christiano Renaldo himself and still apply this trend to your brand in some way. Easy doesn’t always equal successful.

2. Engagement Potential: C+

• Comment: Unless the person responding is your Mom who says she’ll “always remember you” the engagement here is going to be chock full of marketers who think they’re clever. Do you really want them in your comments? Eh, maybe, maybe not.

3. Authenticity Level: B-

• Comment: If you’re lookin to look authentic (tongue twisters yeah), then this is an easy one to pull off. But be warned, the real ones will smell your BS a mile away if you’re not careful. Make sure it’s worth the indecent exposure.

Final Grade: B+

• Comment: Nobody will remember this trend a month or two from now. Except for the big brands that finally get their posts approved by legal. For those of you who are up to modern times, this one is definitely on it’s way out.

The Goods: Creators and Tool To Check Out

• You’re Own Personal Assistant: I know everyone SAYS they hate Ai, but here’s the thing. She/he/it can help you with those pesky tasks we all hate to do. Titles, descriptions, spreadsheets. Spill your heart instead to our Ai overlords, and they’ll help you speed up your content creation process.

• A Good LinkedIn Leader (Follow Her): I’ve been absorbing 90% of Joanna’s posts for a while now. She’s a goldmine for anyone who wants to learn about monetization online. She’s like the teacher we never had in school who taught the one subject students NEED to learn about.

The Callout: Reader Submission Time!

What’s the worst advice you’ve ever gotten about growing your personal brand? Hit reply and spill the beans. The most outrageous (or brutally honest) reply might just get featured in next week’s newsletter—along with some witty commentary from yours truly.

The Last Word

If you’re still struggling to get your brand together after all this, just remember: It’s okay to suck at first. Just don’t stay that way. So go out there, screw up a little, and learn from it—because that’s how you get better. And if all else fails, there’s always tequila. Or something stronger, if you’ve really had it.